Overcome Or Be Overcome

One day I came home with my two daughters. When we opened the door to our house we smelled a terrible smell. Immediately we went around the house sniffing trying to find where the smell was coming from. Sure enough, when I opened the cupboard under my kitchen sink where I put my garbage can, I found where the smell was coming from. I took the small garbage can quickly outside to the bigger trash can. I just could not live with such a terrible smell in my house.

We all have garbage. We all have GARBAGE that needs to be taken to the garbage can everyday!

We are consumers. We buy something at the store and after we use it, we throw away the package it came in. After our garbage container is full in our house, we take it out to the larger container outside and empty its contents into it. Then we take the smaller garbage container back into our homes and put more garbage back in it. This cycle goes on and on, week after week, month after month and year after year.

If we do not take our garbage out to the trash, we will smell the results in just a matter of time. Well, guess what? We are all full of it too!

I want to look at the trash we have in our lives and see it for what it really is, and also show you how to get rid of it! We all have garbage that the Master Garbage Man needs to take away. We need to do some "Spring Cleaning" and get our trash out. If we do we will look better, feel better, and yes, even smell better to those around us.

Remember the smell in my home? I just could not live in an environment that smelled so horrible. Yet, we all do this in our spiritual lives. We walk around with excess rubbish from our past and try to ignore it thinking it will go away.
Too much trash in our lives will stink up our homes, and too much fleshly garbage in our hearts will stink up our lives.

People will smell your trash because the stench leaks out.

To give you an example; I was shopping at Wal-mart one day. Waiting in the checkout line, I saw an older lady that wore an oxygen tube in her nose. She was trying to get all her contents from her cart to the counter to purchase them. I thought I would help her and started to pick up some of the products in her cart and place them on the counter too. She was surprised at first, but then, as I continued to help her, she proceeded to tell me about her health and how many surgeries she had. These surgeries made her take certain medicines, which led to more surgeries. I thought to myself, "What can I say that would give her some hope for her life?" I interjected, "At least you are alive !!!" Thinking that would jolt her out of talking so negatively about her life. But, she did not even hesitate and began to tell me about her son and how the police came to their house with their patrol cars all on her lawn. "My boy is a good boy, and he is innocent of all the charges the police charged him with!" she yelled. After we had all her items on the counter and she paid for them, I quickly added, "I will be praying for you and your son! God has a plan !!!" She walked away all grumpy and upset about "stuff!"

I did not know the woman. She was a total stranger and yet how quickly she began to share with me all her "trash" that she had piling up in her life. She did not even know she had an "emotional odor."

How do you get rid of your stench?
The reality is it will never go away until you "smell around" to find were the stink is coming from. This is not a fun thing to do.

There will be pain involved. You will have to work at getting the "stench" out, but in the long run it will pay off and be well worth the house cleaning.

The good news is that God is the Master Garbage Man and He is always there to help you get rid of your trash.

What garbage do you find in your life?
Judgmental attitudes?
Critical spirit?

Let's look at a few pieces of trash you may have …
You know the scene. It is in the middle of the day. The children are out to play on the playground. They choose team members to play the game. One by one everyone is picked until it comes down to the last person. By now they really do not want to play because they were the last to be chosen. The reject! The one no one wants.

Rejection! We've all experienced it. Not getting that promotion we were anticipating. Or not getting the job you interviewed for and someone you know did.

We all want to be valued and accepted. Being valued is a natural human desire.

When we do not feel valued we tend to draw back and isolate ourselves, or get mad and lash out.

Maybe you have been rejected from a friend, or relative. How about wanting to go out with someone on a date and they said, "No!"

Rejection can lead to un-forgiveness and then bitterness.
Why does rejection hurt us so deeply?
Rejection is painful because
It attacks the very person that we are.
It destroys our self-esteem, and attacks who we are and our purpose in life.

This is why it is one of the most common tools the devil will use to destroy a person's life.

God never wanted us to feel rejected or abandon.

He desires for you to know who you really are, and realize how deeply God loves, accepts, and appreciates you, so that you can live out the fullness of what all God has ordained you to be.

Rejection has a way of destroying a person's life in a way that few other things can.

The sad fact is that the number of people who are affected by rejection is staggering.

If we want to be all that God has created us to be, then overcoming rejection and its effects is vital and absolutely essential.

Remember; God will NEVER reject you! He will always received you.

Un-forgiveness and rejection are really a war that is going on inside of you. It is safe to say that everyone has experienced rejection or has un-forgiveness in their life.

These are pieces of trash which can pile up and begin to make us stink! It becomes the "clutter" in our lives that prevails us from being who we were created to be.

If you do not welcome this WAR, it will welcome you !!!

The word; "War" means to be in great commotion or tumult, to rage, war, cry aloud, be disquieted, rage, be troubled, be in an uproar.


1. Un-forgiveness is Disobedience

We are forgiven because of what Christ did on the cross for us.

We deserve damnation and hell, instead of mercy and grace and eternal life. But there is something further we have to understand about our forgiveness. If we forgive others what they did to us, then we are forgiven. But, if we do not forgive what others have done to us, we are not forgiven either.

Look at your life and what has been done to you. Does it even compare to what YOU have done and Christ forgave you?

Mat 6: 14-15 KJV
"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

It is plan disobedience to God if we do not forgive others. Disobedience is Sin!

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Un-forgiveness is something that can really hold us back from escaping the corruption of sin and living for God.

Un-forgiveness comes in many forms, such as bitterness, hatred, malice, holding grudges and resentment.

Un-forgiveness can actually block God's forgiveness towards our sins and provides a foothold for the devil to influence our lives.

Un-forgiveness is probably one of the largest yet-unnoticeable sins in the world today.

Un-forgiveness is not only a sin, but it's a disease. It carries with it paralysis and life-threatening symptoms that can end in spiritual death.

Un-forgiveness can spread division and strife through our church as well as our home. Not to mention the chain of bondage it places on our lives.

Un-forgiveness will start to spread through the mind, taking over the thought process interfering with what should be our focus, paralyzing and causing us to miss the important move of God.

Un-forgiveness causes our responses, actions and body language to become inappropriate.

When we release the other person and forgive them, we release ourselves too.

We also release them to be forgiven by God.

2Co 2:10 KJV
"Whom you forgive I also forgive, for if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ.

2. Un-forgiveness gives Satan an advantage over us.

2 Cor. 2:11
"Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices."

One of the things we learn is that un-forgiveness is one of Satan's devices, an instrument, a weapon, a plot, a scheme, a tool, which he uses.

People who Satan could not get to rob a bank or shoot someone; he gets to them through strife, bitterness, resentment and un-forgiveness … things that many people would not describe as awful sins. Some people look at some folks and say oh, they are a wonderful Christian, they love God, they read their Bible, they pray, and yet that person could be soaking with strife and un-forgiveness. Why? Because we do not always identify it as one of the things that is a sin. Yet, the scripture says that it is a device of Satan.

Un-forgiveness in our heart can give Satan an advantage over us, a way of controlling us, robbing us of our joy, our deliverance, our peace, our love, harmony in the home, the victory of overcoming, from possessing all of the promises of God, our prosperity, our salvation.

Wake up and understand that we are in a culture right now in the world that is fostering, festering, stirring up, strife, bitterness and un-forgiveness.

Talk shows are really into it, talking about how upset they are, angry, and how they are going to take revenge and get people back that hurt us.

News comments feed into this too. Did you watch the news during the Presidential Campaign?
Ultimately, bitterness and un-forgiveness will take people in that direction, and it begins with strife.

3. Un-forgiveness is Bondage.

We can get all bound up thinking about what happened to us to the point that it binds us up from growing in Christ. It brings us from having healthy relationships.

If you do not let go of un-forgiveness and bitterness you will not just lose relationships, you will lose yourself !!!
You will repel others away from you because of what un-forgiveness is doing to your emotions internally. If we are bitter and resentful, it's because we are allowing ourselves to remain that way. Anyone can make excuses and blame the past for his or her bad attitudes, poor choices, or hot temper. If you want to live in victory and overcome, you can not use past emotional wounds as an excuse for making poor choices today. You dare not use your past as an excuse for your current bad attitude or as a rationalization for your unwillingness to forgive somebody. It is time to allow emotional wounds to heal. It is time to put your garbage out for the Master Garbage man to take away for good.

4. Un-forgiveness is Spiritual Poison.

Un-forgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Being mad at another person only hurts you. You might pull away from the other person thinking that you are punishing them, but you are really putting yourself in prison and drinking poison.
Every time you think about what happened, instead of getting angry, start to pray for them.

Mat 5:44 KJV
"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which specifically use you, and persecute you;"

Do not hold on to feelings of bitterness and resentment and let them poison your future.

Let go of those hurts and pains.

Forgive the people who did you wrong.

Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. You may even need to forgive God for allowing it to happen to you.

You will never be truly happy as long as you harbor bitterness in your heart. You will wallow in self-pity, always feeling sorry for yourself, thinking that life has not dealt you a fair hand.

You must let go of those negative attitudes and the accompaniment anger. Change the channel of your thinking and start focusing on the goodness of God.

We all know how to use the remote control to change the channels on the TV. If we see something we do not like, no big deal – we just flip channels.

We need to learn how to mentally change channels when negative images of the past pop up in our minds unexpectedly.

Unfortunately, when some people see those negative experiences on their minds' "screens," instead of quickly changing the channels, they pull up a chair and get some popcorn, as though they're going to watch a good movie.

They willingly allow themselves to relive all those hurts and pains. Then they wonder why they are depressed, upset, or discouraged.

Learn to change the channel. Do not let your mind or your emotions drag you down into despair. Instead, dwell on the good things God has done in your life.

How do we overcome un-forgiveness?



Un-forgiveness is the opposite of love.

What legacy are you leaving behind when you die? When you pass away people will not esteem you and remember you fondly for being standoffish or filled with un-forgiveness. NO! They will remember you for the love and warmth you showed to them and others.

Forgiveness is a choice; based on obedience of God's command, that is clearly set forth in His Word … that we "walk in love".

Think about being out in your yard, watering your garden and your flowers, and you get a kink in the hose … the water stops flowing. If you do not water your flowers and plants, eventually they will die. Here you are, you have ten million gallons of water sitting in a water tower somewhere, but one little twist, a kink in the hose stops it from flowing. Listen: We have all of God's power, God's blessing, and God's grace, but a kink, a twist in your heart, of bitterness or un-forgiveness can stop it from flowing in your life. It is important that we get all of those areas free, and the river of life flowing at all times.

We have to remember that; out of the heart flows the issues of life. Guard your heart, keep it with all diligence, Solomon said. We know that Jesus deal with the inner man, the "hidden man of the heart", as Peter referred to it. Paul spoke of the inner man, guarding, keeping on the inside. This is an hour that we hear what the Holy Spirit is saying: that we need to determine to walk in love.

Eph 5: 2 (KJV)
"And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savour."

Eph 5: 2 (MSG)
"Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not careful but extravagant. of himself to us. Love like that. "


How can we forgive? Where do we get the strength? We get it through God's forgiveness for us. He forgave through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ on the cross. Because He forgave us, when Jesus died and bore our sins and took our penalty, was crucified and buried and then raised from the dead, so that God could offer forgiveness and salvation to every person … that is our pattern, our example, and our help, through faith and obedience, to forgive others.

I remember someone coming up to me and expressing that they had un-forgiveness in their heart about a family member in their life. I shared with her something that someone else shared with me to help me get rid of un-forgiveness. I asked her to see Jesus on the cross, all wounded and bloody. To me I saw His wounds from the whippings as deep lacerations. Then I asked her to place those who hurt her into those deep wounds. You see, Christ died for our sins, and also for the sins that were done to us. What He did on the cross is finished. Jesus took all the pain and shame in our life as he hung on the cross to die. But what is so glorious is that he rose and is alive today! What He did is complete. He paid the price for ALL sin.
Have a conversation with the Lord, and choose to forgive "anyone" and "everyone" who has ever offended you. He may bring to your remembrance people who have hurt you and you have not yet forgiven. Speak out of your mouth, through faith, that you choose to forgive and let it go. Whenever that person comes to your mind, and you think of how you were hurt or offended, or even destroyed, remind yourself that you have chosen to forgive, and each time it will get easier because the Lord will give you the strength.
Once you have done this, and choose to walk in love through faith and obedience in the future, hold on to your chair because the Lord will begin to release all those things you have been believing Him for, as you weed the garden of your heart and keep all things that are not of love far away from you.

Ephesians 4:31
"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor (quarreling) and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice (malice gets into that area of ​​hatred because of bitterness and resentment)."

Notice these are all cousins, they are all related, and they are in the un-forgiveness family.
Bitterness, wrath, anger, quarreling, evil speaking (talking ugly about people you are bitter against, you say vile things, slanderous reports, notices that degrade) and malice (angry hatred) let it be put away (this means to get rid of it; get over it; deal with it; over it) it is a command from the Lord.

Eph. 4:32
"And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you."

In verse 32, the Lord commands us to be kind towards one another, tenderhearted, forgiving (so do not just get rid of it, but put positive things in its place) in place of being bitter, angry, speaking evil, and unforgiving .

Ephesians 32, continues … as God in Christ forgave you. "

God was willing to forgive you before you even thought about repenting. Jesus did not wait to die on the cross until after you decided to repent. He died on the cross long before you thought about repenting … He chose to forgive you. If we choose to forgive, as God forgave us, then when are we actually going to forgive? God's forgiveness is based on God's love, not based on that person's response, actions, repentance or restoration … (it does not matter what that person does or does not do in order to bring you to forgiveness. the other person and what they need to do.)

It's our being the bigger person and forgiving, that will allow restoration with people who do not yet know how, or even deserve it. You say "how can I forgive them, they do not even want my forgiveness, they might not even be alive today." It does not matter, your choosing to love and to forgive is not based on their response, it is based on God's love that is inside of you. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. We speak our choice to walk in love, and God gives us the strength to let it go, to overcome feelings and emotions, but we must first speak it out of our own mouth by faith, in obedience to God's command, that we choose to forgive. It was not a suggestion, it was not a pick and choose which person you want to forgive and who you will not; it was a command of God to put away anger, malice, strife, and get rid of it – and learn how to walk in love by keeping it out of your life.


We do not know what that other person has gone through. Do not say he does not deserve your understanding. Do not be quick to judge and condemn them in the court of your mind.

There is always a reason behind every action. The real purpose in understanding is to help us see the difference between the sin and the sinner. Do not try to understand the other person. Try instead to be understanding. Forgiveness partnerships restorations.

We are commanded to stay together in unity!

Psa 133: 1-3 KJV
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments."

The Bible says, even though you "understand all mysteries and all knowledge but have not love, you are nothing" (1 Cor. 13). Be understanding. This is what love is. Love is an open, listening ear. Love is a warm, accepting heart. Love is an understanding friend.

Col. 3:12 – 14 Phillips
"Accept life, and be most patient and tolerant with one another, always ready to forgive if you have a difference with anyone. Forgive as freely as the Lord has forgiven you. golden chain of all the virtues. "

Forgive / forgave – Strongs Hebrew and Greek Def: to grant as a favor, in kindness, pardon or rescue: – deliver, grant.

Col 3: 12-14 MSG
"So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.

Understanding does not mean you agree with the other person or what they did.

Understanding is not unconditional acceptance, but it is acceptance in any condition, in any situation.


All their strengths and weaknesses. No body is perfect! Do not expect others to be perfect.
Look at that unforgivable person in your life. Remember that they are human. They are someone who Christ died for. No one who Christ died for can be my enemy. If I love God, how can I keep from loving my brother?

1Jn 4: 20-21 HCSB
"If anyone says," I love God, "yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother who has seen can not love God what he has not seen. : the one who loves God must also love his brother. "

Before you write off the other person stop and think …
No one is too low to be an object of God's love. No one (however evil) is excluded from the forgiveness of God – only if they choose to walk away from it. No one can be considered worthless, when Christ-God Himself-died for them. No one is unlovable-if God loves them, then God can love him through me!

We all are human. That means we are not perfect. There might be past experiences that have hurt us, or attitudes we've developed that are not healthy and need to change. There may be memories that we need to give to God and allow Him to heal, so He can bring closure and help you forgive and get beyond it. These "issues" are the trash that we need to empty from our hearts. They are issues in our life that have built up through time, which will only cause stench if we do not take care of them.

What is stinking in your life?

Are there areas that you have not given up to God? Are there people that you have not forgiven? Do you need to forgive yourself? Do you harbor bitterness, anger, or resentment? Do you have self-righteousness piled up like dirty rags? Do you have pride stinking in your life? Have you not given God control of your life totally and completely? Do you see how you've tried to manipulate people or circumstances? Do you have fear built up that parallels you? Maybe you are an approval addict and now you see it for the first time. Do you criticize or judge people? Do you always look at the negative or look for the negative report? Do you see your lack of trust for God and want to start learning how to trust Him again? Do you find yourself always complaining? Maybe you do not have a forgiveness issue, but you have actions or attitudes that you need to change to be more like Jesus.

We all have areas in our lives that need God's tender touch to bring change. Be encouraged to lay down your desires and dreams and allow God to direct your every step.


Wishing the trash would go out will not get the trash out. Hoping the trash would be gone will not get the trash out. Even ignoring the trash will not prevent it from stinking up our homes. This is the same in our spiritual lives. We can wish, hope, or even try to ignore the issues in our hearts that keep coming up, but it will never go away until we turn it over to the Master Garbage Man and let Him take it all away.

You will be surprised and stand amazed at what God will do as you yield your life totally to Him. He has a plan for your life and He is just waiting for you to let Him have the steering wheel to take you places you've never dreamed before.

Can you think of any Trash that has been piling up in your life? No matter how much trash you have, God has a container bigger! The key is to put your trash out and leave it there. As you do, your life will smell fresher and look cleaner because the Master Garbage Man has come and taken away all the trash that you have left out for Him. You can trust God to take it all away. He is faithful. He will make something new and fresh out of something that was thrown away or forgotten. Then your trash will not overcome you but you will welcome the trash !!

Source by Kris Belfils


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